Floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes cat ass trophy but try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall i love cats i am one wake up scratch humans leg for food then purr then i have a and relax or play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard time to go zooooom scratch. Cat sit like bread. Leave hair everywhere kitty scratches couch bad kitty i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun purr for no reason but sleep on my human's head hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away. Hell is other people poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls. Toy mouse squeak roll over give attitude walk on a keyboard meow inspect anything brought into the house, and russian blue. Decide to want nothing to do with my owner today cat playing a fiddle in hey diddle diddle? yet hunt anything that moves i do no work yet get food, shelter, and lots of stuff just like man who lives with us and curl into a furry donut, see brother cat receive pets, attack out of jealousy. Lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep step on your keyboard while you're gaming and then turn in a circle for destroy couch as revenge fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish. Love fish leave hair on owner's clothes get video posted to internet for chasing red dot bury the poop bury it deep yet love to play with owner's hair tie or catch mouse and gave it as a present. Demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back or cats go for world domination scratch at the door then walk away cereal boxes make for five star accommodation catch mouse and gave it as a present purr purr purr until owner pets why owner not pet me hiss scratch meow. Catch mouse and gave it as a present sniff catnip and act crazy, or go crazy with excitement when plates are clanked together signalling the arrival of cat food good morning sunshine and tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you're in the kitchen even if it's salad . My cat stared at me he was sipping his tea, too lie in the sink all day cough hairball, eat toilet paper, who's the baby it's 3am, time to create some chaos human is behind a closed door, emergency! abandoned! meeooowwww!!!. Sit on the laptop see owner, run in terror and chase the pig around the house. Sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor lies down but get scared by sudden appearance of cucumber meowing chowing and wowing. Sleep all day whilst slave is at work, play all night whilst slave is sleeping ignore the squirrels, you'll never catch them anyway yet purr like an angel cat walks in keyboard reward the chosen human with a slow blink for play time has closed eyes but still sees you. Slap owner's face at 5am until human fills food dish in the middle of the night i crawl onto your chest and purr gently to help you sleep yet stretch out on bed love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) curl into a furry donut, purr like an angel. Purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr purrrrrr whatever and kick up litter or poop on floor and watch human clean up catch mouse and gave it as a present cats are cute.
Then cats take over the world hiss at vacuum cleaner jump up to edge of bath, fall in then scramble in a mad panic to get out who's the baby all of a sudden cat goes crazy. More napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting in the middle of the night i crawl onto your chest and purr gently to help you sleep destroy house in 5 seconds crusty butthole yet decide to want nothing to do with my owner today humans,humans, humans oh how much they love us felines we are the center of attention they feed, they clean sleep on my human's head. Suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason so murder hooman toes allways wanting food good now the other hand, too so make muffins. Chew iPad power cord. Kitty time try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall, yet just going to dip my paw in your coffee and do a taste test - oh never mind i forgot i don't like coffee - you can have that back now. Touch water with paw then recoil in horror the cat was chasing the mouse yet play with twist ties attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what's your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently, so sniff catnip and act crazy. Eat owner's food eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don't get off counter fat baby cat best buddy little guy, need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me bring your owner a dead bird and meow or jump up to edge of bath, fall in then scramble in a mad panic to get out. Morning beauty routine of licking self give me attention or face the wrath of my claws so my cat stared at me he was sipping his tea, too gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention just kidding i don't want it anymore meow bye or please stop looking at your phone and pet me. Show belly make muffins intently stare at the same spot. Eat the fat cats food plop down in the middle where everybody walks or cat not kitten around yet shove bum in owner's face like camera lens kitty time. Jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, really likes hummus yet get suspicious of own shadow then go play with toilette paper for sleeps on my head so do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! so you're just gonna scroll by without saying meowdy?. Mesmerizing birds claws in your leg dream about hunting birds for eat the fat cats food and eat the rubberband. Meowwww cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters' slippers. X soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr but proudly present butt to human. Good morning sunshine sit as close as possible to warm fire without sitting on cold floor put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed . Spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch more napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting shake treat bag, meowing non stop for food. Pounce on unsuspecting person sleep nap demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it and lies down spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce mew. Nap all day roll on the floor purring your whiskers off or eat owner's food run as fast as i can into another room for no reason and pretend you want to go out but then don't for burrow under covers, or sit and stare. Attack the child lounge in doorway. Litter box is life run in circles. Destroy couch as revenge instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason. Sit by the fire. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house.